I'm Lost Again, I'm Lost Again..

I know I haven't update this for a very long time and a lot of things have happened. There's a Chinese saying "Woman is made of tears", is absolutely right, I don't understand where all that tears are coming from but i can't seem to stop it. There are really no words to describe how I feel or what I'm going through. I feel like I have a permanent black cloud that follows me around, and every time that I have a glimspe of happiness, it will then pisses on me. Everyday passes by and it means nothing to me, but just more and more issue arises which I haven't the patience nor the time to deal with. Grieving has became a daily ritual, first my mum, now my grandmother.. it seems neverending. I felt really bad for missing ei's birthday festivities, but I'm not in a celebrating mood, I just don't want to ruin it for her and everyone. I'm in no shape of seeing anyone right now. Some friends are being insensitive when I needed them the most.. all I wanted it's just a little more attention and a little more hugs.. apparently it is too much to ask for...