Life: Pain, pain, and more pain...

I made it out to the house today, I had to go into work and work was willing to pay for a taxi to and from my house. It was a bit of a stressful day but it was nice to be out.

In advice from my colleague, we put some antiseptic cream and breathable bandage on my wounds. She swears it'll keep all the germs away and pushes all the bad stuff out. It was all fine until I got home, the bigger wound on the right ankle started to really hurt, the pain was so intolerable I couldn't walk but just sat and cried for two hours. I decided to take a peek to the hurting wound to find that it became red and swollen. I quickly tried to look up on the interweb, most of the sites said it might be infected. The cut near my baby toe on the same feet started to feel numb and hurt as well. I was completely freaked out that I might have an infection, so I texted my flatmate if she can accompany me to the GP tomorrow.

I decided to peel all of the bandages off, my right foot feels better, and swollen bits have gone down and it's not as red as before. Still in much pain though, if pain persists tomorrow, I'm definitely going to see the doctor.

Fashion: Gok, show me magic!

Alexa Chung and Gok Wan in Gok's Fashion Fix on Channel 4

My flatmates reckon I'm a telly junkie, but I swear I don't watch crap TV like soaps and Big Brother! Long awaited "Gok's Fashion Fix" premièred tonight on C4. Two of my favourite TV personalities hosting a brand new fashion show - Gok Wan and the stylish Alexa Chung.

In this series, Gok challenges current high fashion trends with the high-street finds. Pick something high-street and make it look expensive whether you're styling by adding accessories or adding to the piece, it's about personalising to make it unique. There were some good DIY tips and ideas there. The bottomline of his motto is to find your own personal style in which he's in search for the most stylish person in the UK (he hasn't met me yet). Nevertheless, there's the Gok's "Must Haves" of the week and some celebrity guests, because you have to. Meanwhile, Alexa takes the roadtest on the trendiest and highest shoes to the test in an ultimate stiletto race and interviewing Roberto Cavalli in his holiday home.

Love it! Gok it! Love it!

Life: I don't believe in being brave

Where does one start to cope? I couldn't sleep for days, every time I closed my eyes, I saw those hand covering my face. I feel really alone. My flatmates haven't been home much, and I don't dare to ask people for company. My sister didn't even care. No more follow up email from the one I wanted to hear the most, it's rather heartbreaking.

I'm recovering slowly physically, a bit more mobile without cuts breaking and bleeding has stop. Just a case of ugly oozing of white puss now. Some of the cuts still hurts greatly. I'm such a wimp. Bruises are settling in, lots more pain has emerged mainly from the right side of the body.

I haven't stepped out of the house since Sunday, I made it to the gate to get the mail today but I was hoping my personal alarm has arrived, it hasn't. I still feel violated and bummed out by the assault. How dare they! They don't have any rights to do that, I wish karma will catch up on those little thugs.

Today is my last day to be home, I've been working from home, which is a good thing. It gives me something to focus on. Work is willing to pay for me to go to work tomorrow by taxi. The idea of stepping out of the house is still daunting. I have the mental image of the two thugs looking out for me, "we didn't get that bitch last time, we'll get her this time!" But if I don't work, I don't get paid, even I can't bring myself to step out of the house right now, reality sometimes is a bitch isn't it?

Life: The society we live in

I was attacked today just outside the courtyard of my flat in broad daylight. 7:30 pm, the sun was shinning and all. For some reason i turned off my ipod crossing the road, and i stuffed it inside my bra. I was wearing a summer dress, didn't have pockets, too lazy to unzip and put it in my bag. But I couldn't hear anyone coming. I'm quite sure i wasn't followed, coz i always turn around and looked. But definitely less guarded since it was broad daylight. Anyway, I was grabbed from behind, the guy covered my mouth and nose, at first i thought it was my friend Jo playing with me, coz we were suppose to meet in the park to hang out. But then i saw the hands were black, i thought oh shit, first thing i thought it would be rape but they started pulling my bag. i wouldn't let go of my bag, they dragged me for a couple feet, i still wouldn't let go of my bag and my shoppings. I couldn't see them, but i knew one was tall from the way he grabbed me, and i only saw him in black tee and jeans, but i knew there was another guy coz they were talking "let go of the bag, bitch". I had my head down trying to have my arms over my face in case they started punching me, i shouted and shouted still holding on to my bags, then a neighbour came out to the balcony and saw, so she started shouted at them, the kids let me go and ran away.

Nothing was stolen, but my poor brand new Liberty patent leather bag was ripped to bits and totally destroyed.

Police and paramedics came, i'm not majorly hurt but quite scratched up and cuts mostly on knees and elbows, lots of bleeding and puss still, a bunch of hair got ripped out, still pretty much in shock. Can't bear the thought of going outside of my house right now, not that i can walk for now... My flatmate talked to the witnessing neighbour, she said it was 2 black guys, prolly in their teens, one short, one tall, can't make out of their faces coz it was too far.

Looking back and what the police said was right, i should have let the bag go, and the fact that i haven't any cash in my purse and nothing expensive other than my camera, phone (phone is cheap these days) and the bag itself. I should considered myself very lucky that they didn't have a knife nor a gun. I'm okay, still shaken up, but too scared to sleep right now. Can't believe i got mugged, it was broad daylight!!!